I feel like my life is on hold, meh. I haven’t blogged in AGES and I miss it, but every time I sit down to write my mind goes completely blank and I can’t focus.
I’m stuck in limbo-land with my health and waiting to hear about a flat I might be able to move to in a few months time. I have no holidays planned, no hobbies to attend to and in general just feeling a bit lonely.
I was confirmed to have Stage 4 Rectovaginal Endometriosis after having a laprascopy and MRI scan to see what was causing all my pain, discomfort, toilet troubles, diet issues… the list goes on. After doing some research I found a specialist in Birmingham who deals with advanced Endo and traveled for over 3hrs by car to see him with my boyfriend in tow.
Next time I’m getting the train because there’s no way I’m travelling by car after an operation – which is what I’m waiting to hear about next. It’s scary you know? Finding out you have a disease which is sticking your organs together. Then the waiting game to find out if the disease has penetrated my bowels and if I may end up with a colostomy bag aged 31!
On top of this my boyfriend and I are trying to find somewhere else to live as our current rental is going up for sale. We may have found somewhere through a friend of his family but it’s a waiting game. I’m dreading that we end up having to move at the same time I have to have an operation.
All this has left me feeling kinda alone, like no one really understands what’s going on with me right now. I sit in on my days off and just stare at the four walls sometimes because I lack all motivation to do anything or go anywhere, hence why my blog has been empty of content for many months now.
I don’t like to talk too much about it with friends because I know I must be such a downer when really all I want is for them to be enjoying themselves.
Sorry for the miserable post but I finally found some words to put down and felt maybe I’d feel less lonely if I posted them on my blog. Let’s end this post on a high with a picture of my cat.